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I noticed her hands kept clenching and unclenching as we spoke about boring everyday matters. Only when she saw that I noticed did she stop her nervous movements with her hands with an embarrassed look upon her face. The meal came, both of ours, as did her drink. I noticed she gulped down the tall glass of alcohol very quickly.The talk dwindled away into embarrassing silence as we ate. It gave me time to wonder what the hell was going on. This was not the cousin I had known all my life. Then I came upon a hypothesis and figured she was in trouble and needed money. It was, after all, my money that everyone seemed to act weird about. Finally the lunch was finished and the excellent waiter came over and whisked off our dirty plates, then returned to ask about desert, neither of us choosing to have any. But I did order some tea to finish off with.I spoke up first. "Is everything okay, Chris?" I was genuinely worried, and would help any way I could. She seemed to need an incentive to. I worried about CC getting suicidal and about my parents finding out and forcibly separating me and Amber. I worried about how she would be treated by all of our friends if they found out that she had fucked me, her own brother. I worried about losing the love of my parents and how they would view Amber afterward. The plan was to hide our relationship for three years; we didn’t even make it for much more than a month.I tossed and turned for hours; I simply couldn’t get my brain to stop worrying long enough for me to pass out. I was exhausted. I was heart-broken, and I needed to see CC. I rolled out of bed, making sure that I moved quietly enough not to disturb Amber. She looked like an angel sleeping peacefully on my pillow. I only hoped that she could sleep like that every night.I made my way into Amber’s room and turned on her desk lamp; I was going to write CC a letter. I sat with pen in hand for a moment as I focused my thoughts. I needed to make this letter count. I opened my.
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